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They were waiting at the Taxi Rank by the time I was done with Church. I met them there – William and his friend. William’s friend introduced himself as Daniel. He smiled a lot, but spoke very little. My first impression was “Shy Guy”. Daniel was tall, stately, and very good looking. From first impressions, he looked like someone who had a good job too. As far as ‘girl talk’ goes, he would tick most of the boxes in a girl’s checklist for marriageable material. Call him the “eligible bachelor”, from “girls girls talk”. I say from “girls girls talk” because I had a very different definition of “eligible bachelor”, and that definition was very different from the one used in “girl girl talk”. Very few girls agreed with my definition of “eligible bachelor”. In fact, if I remember correctly, there was only one other friend who shared in my definition of “eligible bachelor”. Anyway. While we were waiting for Lunch, Daniel straight out asked me to marry him. I retorted: “if marrying is that simple, why are you not married? You are a good looking man. You seem to have a good job too. I don’t need anyone to tell me that you meet the checklist for marriage. So finding a woman cannot be difficult for you. If in spite of all that, you are not married, I want to know what the problem is”. Before he could respond, William interrupted.
William noted, “Clara, I know you. And I would not encourage a bad guy to date you. I also want you to know that my friend is not looking for a girlfriend in you. He is looking for a wife. So we are not going to sit here and ask you for a date. My friend’s ultimate aim is marriage. So tell us, will you marry my friend?” I thought to myself, you must be kidding right? Which sane man goes out, meets a lady he does not know, and then straight out proposes marriage? As far as I was concerned, that was ridiculous.
The only other time I had a ridiculous proposal for a marriage was from a certain old man. We worshiped in the same church. One day after church, he asked to speak with me. Alone. We sat at the Parish Yard. Privately. He then told me that he wanted my permission to approach my parents so that he could marry me for his son. He told me how he had observed me in church, in everything that I do, and he was confident I would make the perfect wife for his son. I was stunned. But I kept my composure. He then started the praise singing session for his son. His son was outside the jurisdiction. He was a big man working with a big company and he was tops in this company. His son was also good looking and extremely responsible. He was confident his son would love and take very good care of me till his dying days. I couldn’t believe my ears. I had heard that people married for their children. But anytime I heard such stories, I treated it like that – a story. I could not believe this playing out right before my eyes. I was both shocked, irritated, flattered and amused all at the same time.
I told the old man ever so politely – “if your son is all that you say he is, I am quite positive that he is able to choose a wife for himself. I am sure he has already done that. And he would, in his own time, soon bring you your daughter in law”. He retorted. “He could not have found a woman as good as I have found you for him. Whether or not he has found a woman, I know my son, and I know that as soon as he sees you, he will fall in love with you, and he would want to marry you”. I made a mental note in my head – by now the said gentleman had found a wife that Daddy did not approve off. Poor guy, I thought. But whatever it was, I was not going to give anyone permission to get me involved in their family drama. I therefore thanked the man ever so politely, that I was flattered he thought so highly of me, but no he did not have my permission to speak to my parents, as marriage was not in my plans. He quickly added, that oh, his son could wait. I smiled, shook my head “no”, and took leave of him. From the way the man spoke of his son, I knew he must love his son really dearly. I was therefore not going to tell him that I was not interested in any son who waited for Daddy to identify a wife for him. I simply said he did not have my consent to speak to my parents. He was disappointed. But he respected my decision. He tried a few more times to persuade me. But let the matter go when he realized my response was always going to be the same. I respected him a lot for that. I never bothered to find out who the fabulous son was.
Before Daniel or William could answer the question as to why a book definition of “eligible bachelor” would propose marriage to a complete stranger, William’s phone rung. He told the person on the other phone that they were sitting with Clara Beeri, and they had proposed marriage, but she was busy interrogating them. From the look on his face, it seemed the caller didn’t believe him. So he passed the phone to me to speak with the Caller. When I said “hello”, the caller asked, “is it really you, Clara? This is Moses”. My face lit up. You see, I know the caller quite well. Mr. Moses taught me in secondary school, (Now Senior High School). We exchanged pleasantries and I handed the phone back to William. Mr. Moses then said, (for phone was quite loud), “indeed, it is her. In which case, I would advise you to skip the dating part and go straight to the marriage part”. William noted, indeed, “that was what we set out to do”.
William then looked at me again and asked “ what have you got to say to our proposal?” all this while, I took it that they were merely probably only joking. So I responded, “I asked you a question. I am waiting for a response”. They sat up straight like two school boys who were putting up their “best behaviour face” because the headmistress just walked into the room. I was used to having boys be on their best behaviour when I was around. Same applied to my two brothers and my dad. They were usually on their best behaviour when I was around. So I kind of expected my two lunch mates to be on their best behaviour and they were. I relaxed and prepared myself to enjoy whatever tale they were going to tell me in response to the question.
By Clara Beeri, Lawyer and Lecturer at GIMPA.
