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It’s not a lack of LOVE but a lack of KNOWLEDGE that makes BITTER MARRIAGES. But people don’t know this. We are getting married because of LOVE; the government, the state, the court are giving marriage certificates because of LOVE but the truth is, it is not love which is making couples unhappy in their marriages.
If today you ask those who divorced, they will tell you they loved their spouses. In Akan language, there is a saying that we don’t marry our enemies. Obviously we marry our loved ones.
Yet when we say we love someone, we don’t even understand the word LOVE. Nobody is putting measures in place to check if people truly love their partners or have enough understanding of love before marriage.
The word “LOVE” has being the most misused word in this world. We tell people we love them but we hurt them. We’ve heard couples say “I don’t know why I keep hurting you, but the truth is, I love you”.
We tell people we love them but lie to them, we tell people we love them but cheat on and betray them, we tell people we love them but we are not loyal to them. We tell people we love them until death do us part, but we let go the marriage when we are hurt’.
The reason why we are misusing the word LOVE is that, we don’t understand it. We don’t have the right knowledge about love.
Proverbs 4:7 says “Getting wisdom is the most important thing you can do! And with your wisdom, develop common sense and good judgment”.
This is Solomon being spoken to, as a loved, favourite and the only son of his mother. The father begged him to acquire wisdom, for that is what will guide his life, that is what will keep his life, that is what will give him long life, bring him honour and place a beautiful crow upon his head.
In another version, Solomon’s father was telling him to sell everything and get wisdom. Other versions also say Wisdom is Principal.
Some of you here, despite your parents loving you, they didn’t keep you at home with them. They sold everything of theirs to get you to school. What are they doing, they are helping you acquire wisdom.
They know with your wisdom, whatever they lost, the can get it back and you can have a better future. So it isn’t by accident that you are going to perform better in the hospital as a Physician Assistant, Lab Technician; as a good nurse at the ward, as an amazing public health officer in the communities.
Our trouble is, we are seeking wisdom in just a few things but are ignoring the rest. And what we ignore is what is killing us. A fine doctor gets a bad marriage, he loses his self-esteem and passion for the profession, making mistakes at the theatre, is absent minded, and ends up killing people.
The Lab Technician with the worst marriage, got frustrated at home, is at work but lost in thoughts, ends up exchanging blood samples, and as a result, giving out wrong test results. A nurse with a bad marriage is at the ward, thinking of what happened before she left home, the bad treatment, insult and hurts, so she ends up writing wrong vital signs for a patient, leading to wrong diagnosis.
A driver on the road, thinking of what he is going through in his home, and the thought of that made him lose control of the car, causing a road accident. It’s not that the drivers’ license Authority did a bad job by giving him license to drive on the road but the absence of the right knowledge about marriage is what caused the accident.
I am here to submit to you, ladies and gentlemen that; bad marriage and bad relationship are causes of many deaths that occurred in this country. And it’s time Government and other institutions support people like me on what I do. SRC and students leaderships should organize these kinds of seminars. I am always available to serve. Just give me a call.
It is not that the doctor, lab tech or nurse had no license to practice or lack knowledge in their chosen fields, but due to lack of proper knowledge or wisdom on marriage and relationship, they ended up killing.
I know when student leadership decided they were bringing in a Counselor, some kicked against it saying “why do we need counselors? Are we in school to get married, are they not coming to break our relationship”, etc.
Forgetting that, it is not enough to get the right knowledge about your profession, but you need that of marriage, home, family and God to become a complete being. We all need a balanced diet. We all need a balanced knowledge.
By the way, Counselor Adofoli, doesn’t destroy relationships and lives. I build; I help you become a better person.
For enquiry, counseling, to invite me to speak at your school, organization, church, etc please, call or WhatsApp +233206774279. E-mail: info@counseloradofoli.com
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