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What is a bride price to you? Many people don’t know what bride price is about and this is causing many relationships to collapse whilst some parents are also abusing it. A bride price can simply be defined as a sum of money or quantity of goods given to a bride’s family by that of the groom in some tribal societies.
There are reasons or a purpose for these practices. Bride price is not a punishment meted out by the bride’s family to their in-laws to be for wanting to marry their daughter; neither is it trading or a business transaction where one is paying for goods or services offered.
Bride price is indeed an act of love, just as marriage is a journey of love. Anything done with love has nothing to do with punishment, business or abuse. “There is no fear in love. Perfect love puts fear out of our hearts. People have fear when they are afraid of being punished. The man who is afraid does not have perfect love” – 1 John 4:18 (NLV). This is one price every groom-to-be should pay with smiles and not tears, complaints, anger, etc.
For the groom to be will one day be taking the same thing from anyone who comes to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage. It’s good I take my time to enlighten the public on this act of love.
To love is to care and when someone cares about you that person is thoughtful, thinks about you, anticipates what your needs for tomorrow are and does his or her best to get them for you today.
Every responsible father who has raised his daughter to the point of giving her out for marriage is an honourable dad. He is his daughter’s first love, for he provides for her, protects her, listens to her and offers her advice and guidance.
If you possess something valuable which you so much love and someone wants it, it’s like change of ownership and you want to be sure the new owner has all it takes to cater for it, for you don’t want it wasted or abused but improved.
So naturally you anticipate the needs of this thing you love, and try to provide for it. Just as when we are leaving for schools, our parents despite knowing that the boarding house has enough food for us, they still provide us with provisions to last the weeks ahead. This is not an act of punishment but that of love. It shows how much they care for us.
The mother of a new born baby shops for new clothes for the baby ahead of time, knowing how fast the baby is growing. It is the same thing that happens in the case of a bride price.
The father of the bride anticipates the needs of the daughter in the months ahead and therefore asks the man seeking her hands in marriage to provide these things, a proof that his daughter is safe with this man, that the man can provide for the daughter.
Most of these items collected go back to the groom-to-be and it also saves him from buying the same set of items again. It is therefore wrong for any man to see this as an act of punishment. It is also an error for any lady to help this man in getting these things. Helping him is like cheating. What this means is, the man is not capable of taking care of you.
Again, this man is going to run the new home, 50/50. He will give in half effort and expect you to complete it. Each time you are not able to meet this expectation, your marriage starts sinking.
In conclusion “No one who loves others will harm them. So love is all that the Law demands” – Romans 13:10 (CEV).
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